I have always been a book worm, even as a child, you could find me in a book store enjoying books or borrowing books. I always came home with arms loaded with books to read. I read my mother’s entire library that was in the basement of our 4-bedroom home that I grew up in. She has five or six tall bookcases that were has at least 4 shelves in each one and they stood close to eight foot tall with three sections each. So you can imagine all the books that I had the pleasure of reading when I was young. I read Stephen King books as young as ten years old, my favorites were Christine, The Shining and Pet Semetary. I had children’s book to read even. I have read the classics like Moby Dick, A Tale of Two Cities among others.
It would stand that my favorite subject in school was English due to this love of books. I took classes in science fiction, creative writing and yes even poetry. My favorite books that I have read honestly were Gone With The Wind, The Outsiders, Harriet Bergeron by Kurt Vonnegut and 1984 by George Orwell. I think the best part of this whole thing is that I would take a book and read an entire book in one sitting, meaning I would curl up to a good book and not stop reading until I was finished then I would start another one. I even loved doing book reports for classes, it meant that I could share what I saw in the words, what I got from the book and I never had a bad mark on my reports. My teachers loved my input. In fact in my yearbook from one of my favorite teachers Mr. Shaw wrote “Having you as my student has been a pleasure. You are terrific. I wish the best for you.” I loved my English teachers as they helped me to love to read and write, more importantly they taught me to express myself.
As I went through high school, I was always hungry for more reading and writing, in fact, I had a notebook of haiku poems, creative writing and regular poetry. I even wrote songs and short stories, if only I had that notebook to share some of my work, it was lost when I moved out of my parents’ house. When I graduated high school I wanted to be an English teacher, a writer or journalist. I did study journalism as my major in high school and I did very well in it. I had “A’s” in my classes and one of my writings were turned over to the NY Times, where they did publish my story and my professor set up an interview with the editor for me. Why I did not follow through? I was young, stupid and easy to manipulate so I believed people who told me that I would never make it ie: my ex husband. I quit school and did not follow through with my dreams, I gave up and became a housewife with two children living miserably with a man I hated to my very core.
I did keep with my love of reading by constantly reading, I have always had a library card where I would take out at least 5 books and have them read in a week’s time. I would devour books. I have read biographies, auto-biographies, fiction, Harlequin romances, history books and more. I could never get enough information or words in my life. Then came the internet, where I started reading websites and blogs. It was in 2007 where I started my own blog. I still read books though as that is what I wanted for myself, it helped me to continue to fill my mind with words and thoughts, with some books it took me to far off places and I have always been able to align with the characters that I read about.
When I became sick with septic shock, it became a struggle to read more than a paragraph at a time. As time has gone by, I am reading more than just a paragraph at a time. Needless to say, I am back reading books again, be it handheld paper books and on my Kindle Fire that Ron bought me for Yule. My latest book has been The Four Agreements which I am now reading for the 3rd time, because I need to get some of the wisdom to sink in. The one that gets to me is “Don’t Take Things Personally”, easier said than done, I just keep reading that one over and over again. The next one is the one I am seriously stuck on now with “Don’t make Assumptions”. It’s to say that we cannot simply assume that others know what we want or need unless we speak it. For instance, how is Ron to know how I really feel about anything such as wanting to get into feeling better about myself with my wardrobe, hair and makeup unless I say it. I am learning to speak more about what I truly want in life than just settling for less than I really deserve or want.
My next book on deck will be The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist, partly due to the fact that I have been accused of being a narcissist and mostly because the person(s) accusing this are the ones who are truly gaslighting me. I truly believe when what I know about narcissists are the ones who are truly what this book entails. It really gets old when people without a degree in psychology or psychiatry are spreading their shit thick saying you are bi-polar, schizophrenic and now a narcissist. News flash to those of you who do read this and think “Hmmm, is she talking about me? OH I know she is talking about.” YUP!! Chances are I am talking to you and about you. You really are the vain one are you not? It does get old being told what you are mentally by people are not qualified at all to make that judgment or diagnosis, take it where it comes from. Until my doctor tells me differently I choose to say “Poo-Poo to them!” By the way he said after all the blood work he has done there is nothing showing I am bi-polar. He even sent me to a psychiatrist to get a full on diagnosis…news flash peeps…I am a survivor of severe child abuse, spousal abuse, septic shock and I do have severe PTSD after all I have been through in life. It’s not bi-polar by any means, I am a survivor and as they put it stronger than most people. Hence why I need to read this next book so I can learn how to get past these assholes who seem to have a lot to say about my life when their own lives suck.
After I read those books I have others that I will read. I still have the Nora Roberts series to read that I have started just haven’t finished. I have a few of Yasmine Galenorn books to read too. I also want to get all the Harry Potter books, The Sookie Stackhouse books and the Game of Thrones books too. I am reading to get to reading more books both fictional and non fictional. I am all about keeping my brain functioning and reading does that. I can read more now that I have been working on my focus. I even have a beautiful garden to sit in to read and enjoy the beautiful weather here.
So for now this is more that I do have to occupy my time when I am not online or working my butt off.
I will share my thoughts on books as I go along as well, giving reviews of books.